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Saturday, 3 December 2016

The Muslim Parent is a Positive Parent

The Muslim parent is a positive parent

It was an AHA or lightbulb moment on Day 10 of my 13 Days Qualities of a Muslim Parent Challenge, after we've put into practice being lenient. We began to see that being kind, patient, affectionate and lenient contributed to positive outcomes for our children. The children were happier as well as the mums.

Looking at these first four qualities of a Muslim parent, it dawned on me that these are actually in the style of positive parenting. Positive parenting is about guiding or discipling children through positive means rather than punitive. 

When you're kind, patient, affectionate and lenient then you are positively guiding your child using loving and gentle encouragement and respecting them as a growing and learning creation of Allah.

We only just have to follow the sunnah and it falls into what western parenting have just recently discovered, that positive encouragement is a better way to nurture your child. 

So the Muslim parent is a positive parent who uses positive disciplining. But unlike positive parenting, which doesn't use punishment at all, I believe that there is a place for it when the child oversteps the important boundaries. 

For example, if an older child steals, maybe the first time he could be reasoned with but if he does it again and again then some form of punishment is required otherwise he will keep on doing it. Leniency is for mistakes and forgetfulness not outright wrongdoing. Islam afterall requires punishment for major crimes. Allah knows best.

When the child is young, he is learning from his environment so if he does wrong then you remove him from that environment such as bad friends, watching tv, or bad modeling and you give him gentle guidance. But when he has reached maturity and can judge between what's right and wrong then if at first gentle disciplining doesn't work then a punitive consequence is required.

Islam is always about balance. When one goes to the extreme in any area of life then problems will arise. The same is with parenting. Excessive leniency is detrimental to children. They can become over-coddled, over-indulgent and spoilt. 

The Muslim parent is a positive parent who is kind, patient, affectionate and lenient when appropriate in order to guide her child.


  1. Alhamdulillah, I love it when the teachings of our Prophet SAW begin to emerge as modern trends as though it's only just being discovered :) I definitely agree that positive discipline has to be more effective that punitive, and like you say, happy parents, happy kids insha'Allah :)

    1. Yes, don't you just? There are so many things that are sunnah and they've only discovered that it's beneficial such as the midday nap, sleeping on the right side, squatting when going to the toilet, eating dates - there are so many.

      You're absolutely right about happy parents, happy kids.

  2. Islam is about balance. That's totally right and this greatly helps in our everyday life and the things we do all day. It is sometimes challenging being a Muslim parent especially if in a non-Muslim country

  3. I completely agree with the post! Islam is a positive deen, so if we will follow Islam in our daily life, I am sure we won't get to see any negativity in life.

  4. Yes I completely agree with you about balance. Positive parenting is great but there are also times when you have to be stern. Like you said Islam is all about balance and moderation and that's one of the beauties of it!

  5. Completely agree with the balance. I know some who treat their kids as best friends...nothing wrong with that but then they aren't even disciplined in any way either.

  6. Honestly when read your post, it made me fall in love with Islam even more, Allah knows best. We were taught right, but some parents just need a little reminder or boost.Teaching them that balance is the best way. It is okay to be lenient, but not to lenient.

  7. This is totally true.
    I love this line that "Muslim Parents are positive parents" & I agree with this.
    Beautifully written Mashaa Allah

  8. I absolutely agree! Being a good Muslim goes hand in hand with being a good parent. Thanks for this reminder.

  9. How true really! Positive encouragement is key... but at the same time disciplinary action is to be taken when necessary, also as stated in the sunnah. Islam is all about balance and moderation


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